Comments on: The sacred power of marriage

By: Tim Malone

Tim Malone — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 06:22:00 +0000

Hi Kalola,Thank you for stopping by. I also visited your blog. I was sad to read that nobody commented on your blog on the occasion of your wedding anniversary. Sometimes I am amazed on which of my essays receive comments. Those that I think are especially thought provoking may receive no comments while others get a dozen. I think it just depends on when they are posted. People lead busy lives.I try to use my blog to motivate me to study the scriptures and share what I learn so even if nobody comments, I’m OK with that as I have learned something new and written about it. Writing for me is good therapy to deal with the stress of everyday life. I suspect that is why you blog as well. God bless you, Kalola.

By: Kalola

Kalola — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 20:33:00 +0000

Tim ~ Thank you so much for posting the link to your wife’s blog. From one Carol to another Carol, I feel I have found a kindred spirit. Bless you both. BTW, Kalola is Hawaiian for Carol. =)

By: Tim Malone

Tim Malone — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 11:13:00 +0000

Thank you s.faux,President Monson asked us here in California to contribute our time and means to the passage of the proposed amendment to the state constitution defining marriage as between a man and a woman. I thought about sermonizing but decided that an example of what I have learned would be a better use of my blogspace. I asked Carol if she didn’t mind getting involved.There is no way I could capture the real power of sacred married love between a man and a woman. There is just something abut it that can only be demonstrated by trying to live as the Savior demonstrated – by serving one another. As we were married in the temple so many years ago, we were counseled to do all within our power to eliminate selfishness from our lives and marriage.There is no greater satisfaction to me than seeing Carol work so hard to be healthy and happy. She is both, although she is in pain, because she sacrifices and makes a constant effort. Her struggles with disappointment are an inspiration to me. She will not give up. It took her a whole year of daily exercise to lose her first twenty pounds. Now she is losing ten pounds a month.Would I have loved her any less if she had not decided after 25 years to choose to live instead of die? No. I chose her as an eternal companion and knew that the Lord would bless us if I did my part. I have always believed that my sweetheart had the power within her to be healthy and happy. She says she is doing what she is to please me. That amazes me. That is an example of the power of married love between a man and a woman. The Lord has blessed our marriage, especially recently.What does losing weight have to do with happiness in marriage or the definition of marriage as being only between a man and a woman? I don’t know. I’m not sure the essay was about losing weight but that is the outside evidence of the power of my love for her. I hope she never felt pressure from me, only encouragement. That is how I have felt that the Savior has dealt with me – always encouraging but never loving me less in spite of my struggles and failures over the years in so many areas.I was blessed to have a real world example of someone who never gave up on my mother. At one point in time that was particularly hard on him, he confessed to me that he had thought seriously about leaving my mother who seemed to push everyone in her life away from her. She was in pain and could not see the pain that she was causing those closest to her. I watched as he stuck it out and saw it through. She came around and was able to recover her mental and emotional health to a point where she was almost normal again.Some afflictions in mortality will only be healed by the resurrection. Mental illness will not exist in a glorified and perfected resurrected body. Dad was so good for mother because her torments – both mental and spiritual – did not seem to cause him any lasting damage. As we visit him in his own home in what may be the last year of his life, we are amazed at the sweet peace that shines in his face. He misses mother but he is content knowing that he passed a test in life that few other men could face.All because he loved his wife and served her endlessly. She knows that he did and loves him forever because of his sacrifices for her. Dad earned the respect of his children and all who knew him because he loved and served them. He thrived on serving others. I do not have the words to express how much I am amazed at a man who loves and serves in spite of what he was called upon to suffer in return. My father is truly an example of Christlike love to me.

By: S.Faux

S.Faux — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 08:35:00 +0000

I am almost at a loss of words. That is saying a lot. What a stunningly good and courageous essay. You describe your life as average, but somehow I am unconvinced. Your essays, particularly this one, reveal something extraordinary.I am going to try to get my newly married son to read what you just wrote. On my site, I just posted a couple of essays on temple marriage. Obviously, the issue has been on my mind a lot.Your family experiences sound amazing to me, and you have obviously benefited. It was nice to hear about your Dad, as I do not remember you mentioning him in previous essays, although I could be wrong about that.The gospel is about change. When loved ones change or when we change for the better, we should NOT be too surprised — but we always are. For all the psychology I have read over the years (way too much), ONLY the gospel impresses me as capturing the true powers of change — the power that makes changes in the soul.Thank you for this thoughtful and enjoyable essay.