A Conversation You Don’t Want to Have


SamAndRalph“I can’t see you, but I can feel your presence,” I said.

“That’s the way it was meant to be, “he said. “Besides, it gives me the advantage. But you already know that.”

“What do you want? Why are you here?”

“My job is to keep you from doing anything good. That’s all you need to know. Whatever it takes, I have the power to do it. You know I’m not here alone. Others are nearby ready to help. I only have to call out and they’re here before you can imagine it. I have as many as I need – specialists of all kinds to do the job. You get an idea, and I call them over to suck it out of you. You must be an important one. Or maybe I am. I’ve never had this kind of power before. Must be that promotion he promised if I took care of my last assignment quick like that.”

“Why is it I can feel your presence and talk with you this way?” I said. I’m fairly certain I already knew the answers but I wanted to get the basics out of the way. I know I’m dealing with a liar but I’ve had enough experience I know he must answer me, no matter what the question.

“I’ve been kind of wondering that myself. All I can figure is you’ve been given some sort of gift,” he said “I don’t think it’s particularly fair, but it’s not going to make any difference, I can promise you that.”

“What’s you name.”

“You can call me whatever you want. I’ve been called lots of things over the years.”

“So you’ve obviously done this before.”

“You can say that.”

“I know you have to answer me, so tell me how many times you’ve done this before.”

“It all depends on what we’re talking about. Do you mean have a conversation or go all the way and put someone in the loony bin?” There was something sadistic in the way he said it, as if he was remembering something with particular delight.

“Let’s start with the basics, “I said. “How many times have you had a conversation where the other person could hear and record you?”

“You’re the first.”

“I’m not the first you talked to…” I said.

“No, but you’re the first who doesn’t seem to be afraid of me.”

“Oh, but I am afraid. I have great fear and respect for what you can do. I know who you are and what you can do. Don’t put yourself down. I know your power. You put me in the hospital twice, in case you don’t remember.”

“I sensed a smile and a rubbing of the hands together if he had any. “I had some help back then. It was my first time. You almost had us.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, come on, do I have to explain everything to you?”

“From what I understand, yes, you do have to answer every question I put to you. I’ve been told that’s a rule.” I said.

“Fine. Johnson kept your son and his friend busy. It wasn’t hard. A little weed will do wonders.”

“So it was you I saw when I was waking up.”

“If you say so. It was my job to watch you and keep you away if you moved.”

“I’m going to call you Sam.”

“Call me whatever you want.” He seemed a little annoyed.

“Want to know why?”

“No.”

“It must be part of the gift. I can always tell when you’re lying,” I said.

“Whatever.”

“You remind me of that cartoon character, Sam Sheepdog, from when I was a kid. It was his job to watch the sheep and keep the wolf away. Ralph E. Wolf was always plotting a way to get at the sheep. He came up with all kinds of plans. That’s what made it funny each time.”

“You’re beginning to annoy me,” Sam said.

“You should be flattered,” I said.

“Why is that?”

“Sam was actually the smart one. He had it all figured out. In spite of his eyes covered with red hair, he knew exactly where the wolf was. He always had a plan on how to keep him away from the sheep. Remember that. Sam was the smart one.”

I sensed Sam mulling this over.

“OK, whatever. Like I say, you can call me Sam if it makes you feel better. But it’s not going to help. Nobody’s ever been able to talk to me like this before without me scaring the crap out if them. Don’t I scare you?”

“Oh, you scared me alright. Remember, the hospital.”

He brightened up. Yeah, you were a mess. You’d think you didn’t know anything about devils. Twice in one week. The boss was especially proud.”

“But you were just doing your job, weren’t you Sam? You say you’ve done this many times before.”

“I didn’t say.”

“Well, give. I want to know.”

“I don’t keep exact records. Let’s just say a couple thousand.” He was gloating, that was obvious.

“You must be pretty good, then.”

“One of the best. I don’t need much help. I’ve done this so many times I’ve got it down to a science. I specialize in drugs.”

“But not the hard stuff,” I said.

“Weed works better. It keeps the guy going, sometimes for a lifetime, but he never really accomplishes anything. What more could you ask for? He wastes his whole life and doesn’t even know it.” I could almost see a big smile cross his face.

“And your victims never notice that they’re slowly losing their edge – their desire to accomplish anything in life, their ability to remember things, their creative talents…”

“They don’t care. All they know is they feel good. Hey, that’s what drugs are all about. I told you I was an expert.”

“So why was I able to see you back then but can only sense your presence now?

“Hypnopompic Hallucination.”

“Hypno-what?”

“Just look it up.”

“You wanted to be in there, didn’t you? You wanted to be getting high too. I could tell by the way you looked over there.”

“Whatever. What do you want?”

“I just want to tell you thank you.”

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah, I mean it. I’m still in pain. The migraines and the anxiety are there but over time, they’ll go away. You know they will.”

“Yeah, so what.”

“You’ve been sent to me.”

“Say what?”

“Since you can’t lie, if you’re going to insist on hanging around, I’m going to use you. You been assigned to me, which means you can’t leave until either you defeat me or I defeat you. It’s a fight to the finish. I’m going to use you. You’re going to tell me things you don’t want to.” Now I felt like rubbing my hands together. “You know my gift helps me know when you’re lying. I think someone made a major mistake. They sent me one of the smartest and best. How does it make you feel knowing you’re going to be used?”

“Well, good luck. I can lie all I want,” Sam said. “That’s still mine. I can lead you on wild goose chases that completely waste your time. If you want to chance it, then more power to you. I don’t know what you think you can get out of this, but I can tell you I’m deadly serious. I will not give up until you’re dead, crazy or have been totally incapacitated. Even then, I’ll keep you out of commission. You’ll be no good to anybody.”

“Fine – it’s good to have it out in the open. We know where each other stands. You want to drive me crazy and I want to use you to get tactical information that’s going to help in this last great battle. You’re going to be sorry you decided to accept this assignment. Oh, sorry. I forgot. You have no power to choose, do you? You go where you’re told and do or die, isn’t that true?”

“You’re a jerk.”

“And you’re damned to hell. Don’t ever forget it.”

Update (Thur 11-7-13): I sent Sam to the light where he was met by a loving family member ready to teach him the gospel. Sam will no longer be visiting with us. He says the light is too bright here.

11 Responses

  1. I know this is silly. If I continue this series, I may end up moving it to a page, like I have done with my book, “Red Sky.” They say that children who have been traumatized are helped by acting out the trauma with the characters involved. If anyone wants to know the story behind this or why I’m including something so obviously ridiculous on what, for the most part, I want to be a serious blog, please email me and I’ll share the story. I think most of my regular readers will understand. The objective is to get me writing again. I have been stuck. I’m hoping the creative juices will return. I’m doing everything I can to be “normal” again. Prayer, scriptures, priesthood blessings, psychologists, psychiatrists (they regulate the drugs in case you don’t know), and just the plain old work of faith are the tools I’m using. The objective is to keep my sanity and to stay on the Lord’s side of things. I know this is weird. Please bear with me. It’s been a traumatic last eight months.

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    • Tim my friend, I’m impressed. You are in control. You will stay in tune with your true self. That is the answer to your objective. Keep the faith. I’d love to hear your story. I’ll have to email you. Take care. My prayer is for your safe journey.

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    • Tim, this reads like the book, “Outwitting the Devil” by Napoleon Hill. Is that where the idea came from? I’m familiar with your earlier experience and just wondered if this was your way of overlaying your experience with the literary device of carrying on a conversation with the devil.

      As someone who also contends regularly with devils and demons, my heart goes out to you. I, too, nearly lost my sanity in the beginning (literally, not figuratively) but have since come to realize it was the Lord trying to strengthen my courage and prepare me for future battles against the adversary. Along with the shielding you’ve learned about, a good set of earplugs and a heavy dose of Ambien can be your best friend at night. :-)

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      • There’s a similar old book called the Devil and Daniel Webster. Yes, this is a literary device, meant to help comes to terms with what happened that Friday night (2am Saturday morning) in February. Multiple priesthood blessings have advised I do everything the spirit prompts me to do. This is one of them. We’ll see how it goes.

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    • Tim: A similiar thing happened to me when the “creative juices” were flowing unimpeded and then all of a sudden they stopped. I was pained and upset and asked God why. After a bout with the adversary I distinctly heard the words from God which drove away the darkness, Wait until you learn more and then continue on with your advancement. This may not apply to you but after I learn great truths I am often times left alone to digest it all. Our spiritual mountains are always followed by the valleys as we get ready for the next climb. We have to learn patience and God is in control and He has a timetable which we do not understand. We have to give obedience and sufficient time to what we have already learned before we are given more. More will come if you want it. You cannot bring it forth with more prayer or scripture study though both of those should always be there. These come from God and He wants us to learn more when we are ready and it fits His timetable.

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      • I needed to read that comment by Tom to understand my “depressions” after gaining so much information and digesting the light and knowledge. It’s a bit of a feast or famine type roller coaster journey. I’m learning to ask for preisthood blessings more often as well. thank you!

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  2. If I were I betting man, I’d bet that I still haven’t forgiven those involved in the incident of that early morning. Oh, I may have said so, even in my prayers, but I’m guessing there is still some negative energy I’m harboring in there that’s keeping me from healing. Who ever heard of a migraine that lasts for eight months accompanied by anxiety and panic attacks that can be terrifying without drugs to sedate them?

    I hate to share stuff like this on a public forum, but this one may take more than forgiveness to remove, thus the exercise in writing to take control of the situation, at least in my own mind and spirit where it still resides. This will seem like gibberish to most of the world that doesn’t believe in the reality of evil spirits and their ability to jump from one individual to another or their ability to hang around and cause physical pain. Weird stuff, I know. We’ll see if the creative juices get going again.

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  3. Hey Tim,
    I think it’s great. Reminded me a bit of Screwtape. :) I do stuff like this trying to communicate with God. It helps you focus and identify things.

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  4. this all makes sense to me. can you share your experience? i need to be rid of evil that keeps me bound.

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    • Hi Maggie,

      Short answer: we are all surrounded by the spirits of the undead. Some can hear them, some say you’re crazy or pretending. Maybe. I can tune them in and out at will it seems, depending on my faith. I’m not sure how much of my “Experience” you would like me to share. I’ve spent 40 years trying to undo some serious mistakes of my youth (a few months of drug abuse) that opened the door to the spirit world in a way that is not always pleasant. I had a major stress melt-down back in February that brought them back big time. It’s my “thorn in the side” to bear.

      My best advice is to seek the assistance of someone who has skill in dealing with spirit attachments. I’ve written about a few of them on this blog. If you’re in Southern Utah, either Mel Fish or Jan Graf can help you. I also recommend several of the books I’ve reviewed on this blog. If you scan backwards you’ll eventually find them. Bottom line: forgiveness of others, prayer, scriptures, faith, worship, the sacrament, the temple, service – all the good things we find in the church help us deal with spirit attachments. They can be detached. For many, even most, it is permanent. Look up Mel Fish, read his books, go see him or read my other blog for some basic info:

      http://holisticresearch.blogspot.com/2007/10/let-journey-begin.html

      God bless. Email me privately if you want. There are many scoffers. Let them scoff. Those who have experienced the nagging, unrelenting torment of spirit attachments know what I’m talking about.

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      • Thank you for your time and efforts on this blog. I’ve ordered some of the books you recommended and have read several of your other posts regarding this subject. I very much appreciate your work! God Bless!

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