A Mormon Reviews The Afterlife of Billy Fingers


TheAfterlifeOfBillyFingersStorytelling in a Non-Fiction Book

The Afterlife of Billy Fingers by Annie Kagan is a wonderful book. I give it five stars. One of the Amazon reviewers said she read the 191 page book in 90 minutes. It took me about three hours. I had to stop often to wipe away the tears. The book was an emotional and spiritual roller-coaster. Thank you, Annie for that superb and captivating storytelling in a non-fiction book.

Messages From the Spirit World

The book extends three challenges to its readers: First, is it fiction or fact? Annie didn’t have to expend a great deal of effort and energy to persuade me it really happened. I was convinced right away by the down-to-earth, day-to-day events of Annie’s life as she dealt with the loss of her older brother Billy to a tragic accident. I have no doubt Billy came to her to share his transition.

Traditional Heaven and Hell Missing

Second, you will need to re-examine what you know about the after-life, especially if you have accepted traditional heaven-and-hell teachings so prevalent in this world. Billy describes what he goes through in a much-needed healing process, then the oft-mentioned life review. He becomes one with the universe, then back to a being of light and, at the end of the book, describes his final dissolution.

Different Paths in the After-Life

And there’s the third challenge: What happened to Billy in the end is not what I expect or want for me. I suppose this is a spoiler alert, but again this is not fiction so maybe that doesn’t apply. I was saddened by what Billy passed through on his journey as Annie described it in part three of the book. I’m not questioning that it really happened, only that may not be the path for everyone.

Many Mansions of God Prepared

Annie / Billy make reference early in the book to what Billy entitled the “Supra World.” It immediately caused me to think of the words of the Savior, “In my Father’s house are many mansions. If it were not so, I would have told you. I go and prepare a place for you.” Billy very rarely described being with other people in the after-life. Perhaps that’s as he desired it or what was best for him.

Multiple Degrees of Glory

For LDS folks, some may be asking themselves, was Annie deceived by a false spirit? You’ll have to read the book to decide for yourself. As I’ve already shared, I believe Annie’s story and what she learned from Billy. I’ve been a believing Mormon all my life which includes faith in the revelations received by Joseph Smith. In D&C 76 we learn of the Three Degrees of Glory.

We Are Gods and Goddesses

In her bio, Annie describes her interest in and practice of Eastern spiritual traditions. Meditation and Yoga have brought peace to her life. There are references in the final chapters of the book to chakras, Sanscrit – the sacred language of ancient India – and Billy’s encounter with Shvara Lohana. Annie asks, “Was she his personal God or was she God? Is God actually a goddess?”

No Resurrection for Billy – Yet

I wonder if Billy completed his journey or if there was more to be experienced. There is never any mention of resurrection, something most Christians, including Mormons believe in and to which we look forward. It is my desire to have a glorified and exalted body at some point after the resurrection. We are taught and I believe our resurrected state depends on our life’s choices.

No Judgment – More to Come

Which brings up another point – Billy does not pass through a judgment. Again, I suspect Billy has not completed his journey. He was only allowed to share with Annie what would help her deal with her grief and, at the same time, share with the world some of the things through which he passed. Some people don’t believe in a judgment and resurrection. That’s just fine with me.

A Journey Not Yet Complete

I loved the book and highly recommend it, but for my LDS friends, I suggest you’ve got to be open-minded about it. If you accept the idea that Billy was describing only a portion of his journey you’ll be OK. Don’t get wrapped up about how Billy’s experience does not match what we ultimately believe about the after-life, especially with our focus on the eternal family unit.

Find the Good in Everything

There are so many amazing quotes in the book which I find uplifting and encouraging. There is a Facebook group which shares them on an almost daily basis. There is much truth in the book. In fact, I’m not going to say there are any false ideas, both out of respect to Annie and because if there’s one thing I know about the afterlife, it’s that I know very little, but look forward to it.

An Emotional and Spiritual Experience

Thank you, Annie for sharing Billy’s story. Thank you for your courage in publishing it to the world. I’m pleased to see most of the reviews on Amazon and Goodreads are favorable. It is a well-received book from everything I have seen. Congratulations on your success. I feel blessed for the experience I’ll always remember of reading The Afterlife of Billy Fingers. God bless.

A Few Administrative Notes


LotsOfEmailsIt seems no matter how hard I try, I am unable to keep up with the private emails asking for additional information from something I’ve shared in one of my posts, particularly those that deal with doctrine and private religious practices such as the True Order of Prayer in the home.  I still have about 35 unanswered emails from April. I apologize to those who are waiting for answers and thank you for your patience. I truly appreciate those who read my blog and take the time to write privately.

Get-Together in LA Area

I am filled with gratitude this morning. It’s 4am as I write this. I can’t sleep because of all the things I’m pondering. A few regular blog readers and contributors got together for dinner last night to discuss current events in the LDS blogging community. We chatted about the apparent ongoing rash of excommunications for those who write about Denver Snuffer. We discussed mutual experiences with private religious practices such as being born of the spirit, conversing with the Lord through the veil and the difficulties of blogging or contributing to an LDS blog.

Continued Growth of Latter-day Commentary

I continue to be amazed at the number of subscribers listed in the upper left of this blog. It keeps going up and up, sometimes by dozens per day. I’m not doing anything to promote the blog. I read and comment on very few other blogs – only those that deal with similar subject matter – coming unto Christ, being Born of the Spirit, Conversing with the Lord through the veil and being instructed by angels. In other words, stuff that the LDS Church says you should keep private and never talk about. Here’s a simple test: How would you respond if someone got up in Testimony meeting and said they had been visited by an angel, or by the Savior? They did not share what they were taught, only that they had received visitors from the spirit world.

Online  Community Seeking the Savior

That’s the kind of stuff we talk about on this blog. That’s what I write about, that’s what the readers share in the comments, and that’s the primary subject of the majority of the private emails I receive. They usually start out like this: “Brother Malone, you don’t know me but I felt impressed to write and share this with you…” and then they proceed to share some of the most uplifting and faith-promoting experiences having to do with dreams, visions, healings, temple manifestations, visits from the spirit world and sacred prayers in which they were instructed by angels or had words given to them by the Holy Ghost. They are simply delightful. Some have been labeled kooks by their ward members. Some have been excommunicated for sharing.

Moroni 7:37 Has Come to Pass

I suppose that’s one thing we all have in common. Of those who met last night, over half were no longer members of the church, one having been excommunicated within the last few weeks. He has yet to receive a valid answer from his priesthood leaders as to what exactly he did wrong. He keeps asking for an explanation of what doctrines he taught that were offensive so that he can repent. No answer. Yes, I know I’m only reporting one side of this, but it’s similar to dialogs I’ve had with other readers. Why is this church so hell-bent on casting out some of the most faith-filled and spiritual members of the faith just because they write they have been visited by the Lord, by angels, or they read works published by others who have been?

Not OK to Talk About Spiritual Experiences

Apparently it’s taboo to talk about your spiritual experiences in this church anymore. It didn’t used to be. It’s OK to talk about the approved or correlated experiences of early leaders of this church. We’ve become a church that celebrates the revelations of our founders, claims to encourage personal revelation, but discourages the sharing of such experiences. “Not appropriate,” they say. “Not correlated by the Brethren,” another will say. “You must be lying,” the most direct will say. It puzzles me. The old adage rears it’s ugly head again and again: “Those who have, don’t talk about it. Those who haven’t, do.” That’s false doctrine. If you have a visit with the Lord and ask permission to share it, or he tells you to share it, then by all means, do so.

We Have Become a Church of PC and Fear

This church has become a church of fear – members afraid of being disciplined for talking about charismatic or spiritual experiences. No, I’m not exaggerating. I’ve seen it firsthand. It’s simply not politically correct to mention being visited by angels or hearing the voice of the Lord. “Why, that’s limited to the Brethren only,” you’ll hear. I know I do. “You can’t say that. Only the General Authorities have the right to share such things,” is another common saying. Look people, we who have been to the spirit world or have had visitors from the spirit world come to us, know such events are sacred. We understand they are intended for our own edification and instruction, but occasionally someone comes along who says the message they received was important enough the Lord asked them to share it with others – not by way of commandment but to edify and uplift.

Systematically Squelching the Spirit

And that’s where we seem to get into trouble. It’s the old Hyrum Page seer-stone incident all over again. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say most bishops and stake presidents don’t know how to handle if someone were to get up and share they had received communication from the spirit world that was powerful, sacred and blessed their lives. In their enthusiasm or naivety, some new to the exciting experience of receiving revelation may want to share it with everyone they meet or from the pulpit in Testimony meeting. What do our Priesthood leaders do? They take them aside afterwards and say, “That’s simply not appropriate to share in Testimony meeting. I also don’t want to hear you’ve been sharing that privately with other members.”

Priesthood Directive – Don’t Share Revelation

That’s a real conversation. Don’t shake your head in disbelief. Yes, it really happens and is considered the responsibility of our priesthood leaders to make sure they “nip in the bud” any such occurrences before they “get out of hand.” If necessary, they warn the offending members they will be subject to disciplinary action if they don’t tone it down or learn to keep such things to themselves. Here we work so hard to get new converts, teach them they can get revelation and then chastise them when they feel led by the Holy Spirit to share spiritual experiences with others. Their only desire is to convey joy and excitement at what they have learned as well as to testify, as did Joseph Smith, that God answers our prayers in this modern day and age.

TestimonyGloveThe All-Encompassing Testimony Glove

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. There is apparently only one acceptable type of revelation you are “allowed” to share in this church and it must fit neatly into the testimony glove – 1) God lives, 2) Jesus is the Christ 3) The Book of Mormon is scripture, 4) Joseph was a prophet and 5) President Monson is a prophet. You may also substitute “The Church is true” for the last one or to encompass all five. Anything beyond those five items will make the Bishopric squirm and call you in for needed counsel and correction. You may think I’m kidding. I’m not. We need the enthusiasm of new converts who are not afraid to speak out about their relationship with the Savior. We need their new blood, their new life and their excitement in this church.

LDS Bloggers Now Being Excommunicated

I know I’m beginning to sound like a broken record. I’ve preached this sermon at least a dozen times over the years here on Latter-day Commentary. It pains me to do so. I only see the problem getting worse. Some say it’s inadvertent, that the leaders don’t intend to cause new members or even old members feel uncomfortable when they step outside the “sharing” boundaries. The worst part of this epidemic sweeping our church is when a normally shy and reticent member finds the courage to tell in a blog of a sacred experience they had with reading the book of someone, member or not, from which they learned more about the spirit of revelation, how it works, how they experimented upon the word, were blessed and received revelation themselves. Yep, members are being excommunicated for even referencing the works of individuals like Denver Snuffer in their blogs now.

Following the Counsel of Elder Ballard

I’ll get off my soapbox. This is one of those posts I can’t link to Facebook because it will upset too many faithful members who are my friends. I’m trying to follow my Bishop’s counsel to keep my ranting and ravings to myself. This is the one subject that gets me riled up to no end. Just like John Dehlin has become a spokesperson for the LDS LGBT community, I have taken it upon myself to speak up for my blogging friends who are being chastised for following the counsel of Elder Ballard in which he admonished us to get involved in the Internet conversations about the church that were and are happening with or without us. So we get involved, share a few thoughts about our own spiritual experiences and get reamed for doing so. Is this any way to run a church? I’m not critical of the Brethren. I’m pointing out a deficiency in getting the directions to the local leaders.

Tim’s Up On His Gospel Hobby Horse Again

I’m done. I just gave up an hour of sleep because the Lord woke me and told me to write this. Now that’s an audacious claim all by itself, but it’s true. I have learned I can’t ignore these promptings any more, even when they come at inconvenient times in the wee hours of the morning. It has not been my desire to upset you. It has not been my desire to cause you to be offended. I’m fairly certain by now most people are aware of this problem, but then I’m always surprised by the blank stares if I bring this up to my TBM friends. They don’t see a problem. Perhaps I’m trying to steady the ark that doesn’t need steadying. I’m not trying to tell the Brethren what to do. I have full confidence in their abilities to lead this church. I love and sustain them. I’m sure they are aware of this problem. I pray for them. I am certain they are working to address this as best they know how.

Comments Open and Welcome

God bless. Feel free to leave me a comment telling me I’m off my rocker or I’ve understated the problem. Comments open.

Led by the Hand of Christ


LedByTheHandOfChristI love reading books about NDEs – Near Death Experiences. Last year I gathered a few dozen from my library and wrote short reviews. It continues to be a popular post. Since that time several readers have written to advise me of additional NDE books I might enjoy. For example, in December I read and reviewed Home and Back Again by Imelda and Thomas Fowler.

Email from the Author

Suzanne Freeman wrote me a few weeks ago and suggested I might enjoy her books, starting with Led by the Hand of Christ. I purchased them and sat down one evening last week to read the first one. I couldn’t put it down. It was an easy read – straightforward story-telling, fascinating material and inspiring. I don’t think it took more than a few hours to get through the 150 pages.

Additional Works by Suzanne

As this was her first book, Suzanne used the services of Shirley Bahlmann, a professional author. Although I haven’t read her second book, Through the Window of Life, the synopsis contains wording to the effect that makes the book comparable with Visions of Glory with scenes from the future. Her third book is entitled The Spirit of Liberty, relating yet more of her spirit world vision.

Favorable Book Reviews

The book generated favorable reviews on Amazon, Goodreads, Barnes and Noble and Google Books. I few readers mentioned the same thing I felt as I read the book, that perhaps there was some embellishment or writer’s license involved. After all, the writer did not experience the NDE, so she had to interpret what Suzanne was telling her. Still, Shirley interpreted it well.

Died on the Operating Table

No two NDEs are exactly the same, but many of them have similar elements. Suzanne’s had a very unique beginning. She died on the operating table of an ectopic pregnancy. Hovering in the upper corner of the operating room, all she wanted to do was return to her body. Her family needed her. As Suzanne relates it, she was stopped by the hand of Christ upon her shoulder.

She Told the Savior No

There was no long tunnel, no sense of going toward a bright light, only the desire to get back to her body and return to her family. The Savior told her there were some people who wanted to see her. Suzanne said no and struggled once again to return. The Lord had to hold her back, sternly calling her name to let her know it wasn’t time, but promising she could eventually return.

A Tour of Paradise

With this reassurance, Suzanne began a tour of the spirit world, meeting family members and famous individuals. She met prophets of the Bible and LDS history, as well as founding fathers and many presidents of the United States. An especially touching chapter relates a conversation with mother Eve, whom she describes as being very tall, at least seven feet, as well as Adam.

A Tenacious Mama Bear

A humorous theme throughout her travels is that everywhere she went she was celebrated and recognized as the woman who said “No” to Christ. She continually downplays the action, explaining her only desire was to return to her children who needed her. She even equates it to the tenacity of a “Mama Bear” when someone is standing between her and her little children.

Writing in the Book of Life

Suzanne learns much from the Savior, including the importance of building our self-esteem. He illustrates this when he takes her to a room full of white books, where he takes one down – hers – and writes in it of her desire to return to her children. She relates she was astounded, mentioning she knew lots of mothers who would have done the same. The scene seems highly symbolic.

Prayer for a Return of Memories

In fact, you may perhaps feel that much of what she relates is symbolic and maybe it is, but it is how she remembers it. Oh, about that. Suzanne tells when it was time to return to her body, the Savior told her she would not remember anything, but if she prayed, the memories would return. I can relate as my own experience in the spirit world at age seventeen took years to remember.

Some Complained is was Too Mormon

I always read the one and two star reviews after I write my own. I can relate to what they were saying – mainly that it was told from a very Mormon perspective. Yet, at the same time, some of the Mormon reviewers wrote the story did not jive with what they believed about paradise, so go figure. I guess it depends on what you expect. Again, I stress perhaps some of it was symbolic.

A Well-Edited, Well-Told Tale

I recommend the book. It was well-told and well-edited. I’m always delighted when reading a book that is well-edited. This was not self-published so it had the advantage of good editing. I have read a few books from Spring Creek, and recognized several of the authors and titles when I went to their website. It’s good to see an independent publisher making it in the Mormon world.

I Recommend You read the Book

I look forward to reading Suzanne’s other two books, which I also bought, and wish her well on her continued publishing journey. I am pleased to add her books to my NDE collection and to be able to recommend at least the first one so far. It takes courage to tell your story, even today with so many NDE books on the market. Read it and determine for yourself how much truth it relates.

 

Home and Back Again: A Book Review


Not about The Hobbit

HomeAndBackAgainNo, this is not about The Hobbit. That’s subtitled, There and Back Again. This one is subtitled, My Journey Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death. Of course, The Hobbit was written by J.R.R. Tolkien. It is one of my favorites from the first time I read it in High School. By the way, I loved Peter Jackson’s screen adaptions. I don’t even mind he split the book into three movies.

Kindles and Books

Besides socks and other needed clothing, Christmas around our house always brings books, and lots of them. I suppose we’re old-fashioned that way. Even though we both have Kindles, there’s just something about holding a book in your hand. I think it’s the feeling of permanence. Kindles rely on battery power and electricity. Someday, Kindles will probably be useless. But a book…

Libraries Full of Books

Yes, I know paper degrades. Some of the books from my childhood are showing signs of age, but then so am I. We seem to treasure books, else why so many great libraries around the world? But I digress. This is a review of one of the eight books I received for Christmas. If you’re interested, I’ll share the list of other books found under the tree. The first three will take some time to read.

Books Received for Christmas

1. The Joseph Smith Papers, Journals, Volume 1, 1832-1839, published 2008
2. Light in the Wilderness, Explorations in the Spiritual Life, M. Catherine Thomas, 2010
3. Journey to the Veil, by John Pontius, compiled by Terri Pontius, 2013, Cedar Fort
4. Lectures on Faith, Joseph Smith, with minor updates by Robert Smith, 2012
5. The Journey, Receiving our Endowment, Jeremy Oakes, 2013, Journey to the Fullness
6. Joseph’s Interviews with Moroni 21-22 Sep 1823, private imprint (Thanks, Michael)
7. Correlation: An Uncorrelated History, Interview with Daymon Smith, private imprint
8. Home and Back Again, Imelda Lorayna Fowler with Thomas E. Fowler, 2012

Private Imprints / Self-Publishing

It’s interesting that the last five books on the list are private imprints or self-published. Things are changing in the book publishing world. It’s about the last book on the list I want to write. As soon as I opened it Christmas morning, I began to read it and finished it within a few hours. I could not put it down. I give it five stars, just like most every other reviewer on Amazon did.

Near-Death Experiences

Yes, it’s a book about an NDE, or Near-Death Experience. Last January I pulled a bunch of NDE books from my library and wrote short reviews of each. Someone then brought this book to my attention as one I would want to add to my library. Having read it now, I couldn’t agree more. Imelda and Tommy did a great job telling her story. If you read this, thank you both for sharing.

Died on the Operating Table

This is the story of Imelda Fowler, who, if your Google her name and Powerlifting, you will discover holds several records for her weight class of 97 pounds. But that’s not what her story is about. One day, back in 2004, her appendix burst and she died on the operating table. In fact, she continued to leave her body many times after that and described several of her spirit journeys.

Lives Forever Changed

In Tommy’s introduction, he wrote he had probably read hundreds of NDE’s. That’s something he and I have in common. He notes he has, like Dr. Moody, interviewed hundreds of persons who have gone to the other side and then returned. Their lives forever changed. I can attest to that, having experienced my own NDE in 1974. It changed my ability to sense and hear spirits.

Opinions of Skeptics

I like what Imelda had to say about skeptics on page 56: “I have to laugh at skeptics and experts who ridicule those of us who have had the privilege to visit the other side. What is considered reality on this side is smoke and mirrors when compared to the fullness of life that awaits us in our eternal home. My heart pities the nay-sayers for their blindness…

Ignorance and Arrogance

“…they ignorantly and sometimes arrogantly keep trying to prove that this life is all there is. Why they feel the need to do so is perplexing to me. Sadly, when they return home, and they will, that reality will hit them in the face like an iron fist. If you are one of those skeptics and when in the future, you finally come to the realization that you have died…

Some Spirits Wander Aimlessly

“…many wander aimlessly in that realm not knowing or else they are not willing to admit they are dead… I beg of you please, when you come to that realization, swallow your pride and just look up. There you will see a being(s) of light that has been hovering over you and is patiently waiting for you. He/she will guide you through the process of returning home.” (Edited)

Some LDS Perspective

Imelda’s account has some unique characteristics. Although never directly noted, she and Tommy are faithful members of the LDS church. They live close by me here in Southern California (San Pedro). I have never met them or heard of them before but immediately felt a kinship because of the good job they did in telling their story. They are also close to my age.

A Little Background

Tommy is an IT guy like me. He served his mission in the Philippines, where he met Imelda. After returning home, he wrote her. They developed a friendship. They agreed to fast together on a certain day and time. Both received a confirmation they were to marry. It took her nine months to make it to the states. Their first kiss was over the altar of the Oakland temple.

A Very Readable Story

Imelda has a delightful sense of humor in telling her story. Reading about their early days as young marrieds and her acclimatization to living in America was wonderful. This is not meant to be a theological treatise. It is simply her story, told plainly, without too much elaboration, but just enough explanation to keep it interesting. I learned several things and had others confirmed.

A View of the Plain of Hell

Many NDE accounts have commonalities. Imelda’s shared some of those, but what made hers so fascinating was the description of the plain of hell. I have read only a few others who describe it in a similar manner, one being Angie Fenimore’s Beyond the Darkness. It confirmed for me the idea of spirits being stuck in hell because of pride or arrogance. They won’t look up for help. See also Return from Tomorrow by George Ritchie.

A Special Treat: The Grand Council

You’re in for a special treat on pages 77-82 as Imelda describes her experience in meeting the Lord for the second time and going before the Father to determine what she would do. Like so many others have related, she was given the choice to stay or to return to her pain-filled body. She chose to return because of her love for her family. She knew her mission wasn’t over yet.

Meeting the Adversary

Chapter seven for me was also a delight, although you may think it strange. She describes meeting the adversary. This is an area with which I am familiar. I too have met him, or at least some of his agents. The way she described his language is exactly how he has talked to me, the same way his minions do. Mental discipline is the only thing that keeps the voices quiet for me.

Lots of Good Teachings

I’ll not give away any more of the story. I simply wanted to share it with my endorsement. There is too much good stuff in the book to describe in a short review. I believe I recognize Tommy’s contributions in the doctrinal portions. I’m not trying to take anything away from what Imelda has shared, especially the idea of relationships being so important from an eternal perspective. Tommy sounds like a great guy.

A Terrible Vision of the Future

Reading Imelda’s story is a classic example of why the subject of NDE’s is one of my favorites. It takes courage to share such accounts. Her story strengthened my faith and understanding. She even included a terrible vision of the future (page 64) that coincided with what I have seen in my mind’s eye as I have studied the subject in the scriptures. The issue is timing. Nobody knows for sure when such a vision will be fulfilled.

A Sweet and Valuable Book

Get the book and read it. It’s only 120 pages. Amazon has it for about $13, printed on demand. I’ll always remember the sweet peaceful feelings that came into my heart as I read it Christmas afternoon. There is a ton of truth packed into this little book. Imelda is bold in declaring that the Savior and the Father lives. She has seen them. I believe her and thank her for sharing her story.

An Invitation to Dialog

As always, this blog is open to your comments, questions, criticisms or anything you want to say on the subject. You can also email me privately. Want to know more about dealing with voices from the spirit world? I can share more. Want to know more about my own NDE? I can point you to previous posts where I describe it. Want to discuss the book? I’d love to read your ideas.

Here is a link to a recording of her speaking at IANDS Utah from Nov 2013: http://iandsutah.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/iands-13-11-nov-2013-medy-fowler.mp3 (It takes time to load)

 

Conversation with an Indian


EnosPraying“Halt, who goes there?”

I stopped cold in my tracks.

The voice spoke again, this time with a bit more gruffness, “Identify yourself, or I will let loose this arrow that is ready to fly into your heart.”

“My…”

“Speak up,” the voice commanded.

“My name is Tim,” I almost shouted.

“What a strange name. What are you doing here, Tim?”

An old man showed himself. He had been hiding behind the tree just ahead to my right. He seemed to be dressed like an Indian, with long white braided hair.

There was something different about the markings of his clothing. I couldn’t quite place it. If I didn’t know better I’d say those markings were Hebrew.

“I’m lost. I’m sorry. Did I frighten you?”

“Ha! You could not frighten a mighty hunter. But you did frighten the deer I was stalking. What was that strange noise you were making?”

“Huh? Oh, you mean the whistling. We do that when we are fright…”

“Yes, I can see you are still trembling. This…whistling…will not increase your courage. You must face your fears squarely, like a man. Like a mighty hunter.”

He had taken the arrow out of the bow, put it in his quiver. He wrapped the bow around his body in a fluid motion. I imagined he had done it thousands of times before.

The Indian walked closer toward me, stopped within an arm’s distance. He crossed his arms, stood proud and erect. He had broad shoulders and was at least a head taller than me.

He looked me over, as if curious to see who dared walk through his forest. He pushed back my hoodie and ran his fingers over my glasses.

“Glasses,” I said. “To help me see better.”

“You are weak,” the Indian said. It was a statement of surprise, but not contempt. “You do not answer my question.”

“Huh?” I said. “Oh, like I said, I’m lost. I’m looking for a way out of this place.” I began to look around as if that would help him see I meant it.

“I have never seen one of your kind in this part of the forest before.” He completed a circle around me, taking in the belt on my blue jeans and my sneakers. “How did you get here?”

“I read your story a few moments ago. Then I knelt down to pray. The next thing I knew I was walking here in the forest looking for a way out.”

“My story…?”

“Yeah…You know. Enos the mighty hunter. Everyone knows your story. You go into the woods to hunt beasts. But instead you get to thinking about what your dad Jacob taught all those years so you…”

“Stop. How do you know my name and that of my father?”

“Oh, come on. Everyone knows your name. You’re Enos, Jacob is your father, mighty preacher of righteousness. Your grandfather was Lehi who crossed the ocean and brought you to this land. I live here too.”

Enos knelt down on one knee and bowed his head. I couldn’t help but follow his example. I watched him closely. He seemed to be praying, but to himself. For a moment I thought I saw tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

I didn’t want to seem rude so I closed my eyes while he finished his prayer. I could tell he was done because I felt him staring at me, but he still knelt.

“So, the promise was fulfilled. But you’re not…”

“A Hebrew or a Nephite like you?”

“You don’t even look like a Lamanite. What are you?”

“I’m an American. I think you guys called us Gentiles.”

“Ah. I see, Tim. You are indeed a Gentile. I can see it now. Nephi told us about you.”

We both rose, He extended his hand as if to shake, I tried to grab it, but he reached past my hand and grabbed my wrist. He held my arm for a long time and looked deep into my eyes.

I felt something pass between us, some sort of energy. It was a positive feeling. There was something special in the arm grasp. It was as if he was greeting a brother. He broke the grip.

“You have great courage to come here, after all, my Gentile friend.”

“Why’s that?”

“This is the spirit world. There must be some doorway nearby or you have some gift. I have been hunting in this forest for many generations. You are the first Gentile I have seen.”

“I’m in the spirit world? Wow. Does that mean I’m dead?”

Enos looked at me closely, squinting. Perhaps his eyes were as poor as his ears.

“No, you are not dead. But I can see you nonetheless. You must be a man of great faith or have some spiritual gift otherwise I could not see you.”

I smiled.

“Do you know what this means?” Enos said.

“Uh, I’m dreaming in my sleep?”

Enos looked at me with sternness. I felt like he wanted to reprimand me.

“No. It means the end of time is approaching. God has shown me your day. He told me the Gentiles would inhabit this land.”

“He told me someday I would meet a Gentile. If you are a Gentile then tell me a little about your world. I want to learn.”

He sat down crossed-legged in front of me. I followed suit.

“Uh, where do I start?”

“Tell me of the record where you learned my name.”

“We call it the Book of Mormon.”

“I do not know this Mormon, but tell me more.”

“Well, Mormon lived after you…a long time after you. He took all the sacred records of Nephi and the other prophets into one place then made a long book from all the little books.”

Enos look at me strangely. “You have seen this book. Someone read it to you?”

“No, we have thousands, even millions of copies of this book printed on paper.”

“I do not know paper. My father told me the Egyptians used something they called papyrus to record their records. He said Nephi had seen them. But I have only these metal plates on which I write the history of my people.”

“That’s right,” I said. “The Gold plates. That’s what Mormon used to put together the history of your people. Then his son hid it in the hill Cumorah until Joseph Smith got them.”

“Curious. I am glad to know our history is so well known. God is truly faithful. He promised me our people would not be forgotten.” Enos looked sad for a moment.

“Tell me. What happened to our people – the Nephites?”

“All destroyed in one huge battle. Even Mormon was hunted down and killed. You guys had a terrible hatred for each other.”

Enos bristled. “They will not listen to reason. They are a stubborn people. I myself had to kill many of my own brethren because they tried to destroy our village. We have moved much.”

“Well, we have your record. It is all over the world. It makes it easier because we have machines that automatically copy them over and over onto the paper or papyrus as you call it.”

“And the Messiah? He came and visited my people as was prophesied?”

“Yes, that’s one of the best parts of the book. He taught his gospel, commanded us to have faith in him, to repent and baptize one another. Having faith is the hard part for me.”

“Yes, I can see it affects your confidence. You must practice like Enos.” He stood. “I prayed all my life to have this gift. You must do the same. It is a most important part of life.”

“Are you leaving?” I said.

“I must go and tell the others that a Gentile has been seen in the forest. It is one of the signs we have been waiting for. I am glad you asked God to help you have faith. It must have opened the door so you could come into this far part of the spirit world. Nobody comes here.”

“Why is that,” I asked.

“This is where the dark spirits stay. They do not like the light. It is also the part closest to your world. You must pray harder to move past the dark area. It is not good to stay here long.”

Once again he extended his hand. This time I grasped his wrist as we had done before.

“Goodbye Tim. I am glad to have met you. You have much to learn but I can see you have found how to access the spirit world. You must be careful from now on.”

“Thank you, Enos. I hope to see you again.”

“That all depends on you and your faith. Pray for the gift. Pray all day long if you have to. God will speak to you. He has spoken to me many times. I will await you in the light.”

And with that he disappeared. Slipped behind the same tree I suppose but I didn’t see him go. I thought for a moment, felt sleep come over me, closed my eyes and awoke in my own bed.

A Conversation You Don’t Want to Have


SamAndRalph“I can’t see you, but I can feel your presence,” I said.

“That’s the way it was meant to be, “he said. “Besides, it gives me the advantage. But you already know that.”

“What do you want? Why are you here?”

“My job is to keep you from doing anything good. That’s all you need to know. Whatever it takes, I have the power to do it. You know I’m not here alone. Others are nearby ready to help. I only have to call out and they’re here before you can imagine it. I have as many as I need – specialists of all kinds to do the job. You get an idea, and I call them over to suck it out of you. You must be an important one. Or maybe I am. I’ve never had this kind of power before. Must be that promotion he promised if I took care of my last assignment quick like that.”

“Why is it I can feel your presence and talk with you this way?” I said. I’m fairly certain I already knew the answers but I wanted to get the basics out of the way. I know I’m dealing with a liar but I’ve had enough experience I know he must answer me, no matter what the question.

“I’ve been kind of wondering that myself. All I can figure is you’ve been given some sort of gift,” he said “I don’t think it’s particularly fair, but it’s not going to make any difference, I can promise you that.”

“What’s you name.”

“You can call me whatever you want. I’ve been called lots of things over the years.”

“So you’ve obviously done this before.”

“You can say that.”

“I know you have to answer me, so tell me how many times you’ve done this before.”

“It all depends on what we’re talking about. Do you mean have a conversation or go all the way and put someone in the loony bin?” There was something sadistic in the way he said it, as if he was remembering something with particular delight.

“Let’s start with the basics, “I said. “How many times have you had a conversation where the other person could hear and record you?”

“You’re the first.”

“I’m not the first you talked to…” I said.

“No, but you’re the first who doesn’t seem to be afraid of me.”

“Oh, but I am afraid. I have great fear and respect for what you can do. I know who you are and what you can do. Don’t put yourself down. I know your power. You put me in the hospital twice, in case you don’t remember.”

“I sensed a smile and a rubbing of the hands together if he had any. “I had some help back then. It was my first time. You almost had us.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, come on, do I have to explain everything to you?”

“From what I understand, yes, you do have to answer every question I put to you. I’ve been told that’s a rule.” I said.

“Fine. Johnson kept your son and his friend busy. It wasn’t hard. A little weed will do wonders.”

“So it was you I saw when I was waking up.”

“If you say so. It was my job to watch you and keep you away if you moved.”

“I’m going to call you Sam.”

“Call me whatever you want.” He seemed a little annoyed.

“Want to know why?”

“No.”

“It must be part of the gift. I can always tell when you’re lying,” I said.

“Whatever.”

“You remind me of that cartoon character, Sam Sheepdog, from when I was a kid. It was his job to watch the sheep and keep the wolf away. Ralph E. Wolf was always plotting a way to get at the sheep. He came up with all kinds of plans. That’s what made it funny each time.”

“You’re beginning to annoy me,” Sam said.

“You should be flattered,” I said.

“Why is that?”

“Sam was actually the smart one. He had it all figured out. In spite of his eyes covered with red hair, he knew exactly where the wolf was. He always had a plan on how to keep him away from the sheep. Remember that. Sam was the smart one.”

I sensed Sam mulling this over.

“OK, whatever. Like I say, you can call me Sam if it makes you feel better. But it’s not going to help. Nobody’s ever been able to talk to me like this before without me scaring the crap out if them. Don’t I scare you?”

“Oh, you scared me alright. Remember, the hospital.”

He brightened up. Yeah, you were a mess. You’d think you didn’t know anything about devils. Twice in one week. The boss was especially proud.”

“But you were just doing your job, weren’t you Sam? You say you’ve done this many times before.”

“I didn’t say.”

“Well, give. I want to know.”

“I don’t keep exact records. Let’s just say a couple thousand.” He was gloating, that was obvious.

“You must be pretty good, then.”

“One of the best. I don’t need much help. I’ve done this so many times I’ve got it down to a science. I specialize in drugs.”

“But not the hard stuff,” I said.

“Weed works better. It keeps the guy going, sometimes for a lifetime, but he never really accomplishes anything. What more could you ask for? He wastes his whole life and doesn’t even know it.” I could almost see a big smile cross his face.

“And your victims never notice that they’re slowly losing their edge – their desire to accomplish anything in life, their ability to remember things, their creative talents…”

“They don’t care. All they know is they feel good. Hey, that’s what drugs are all about. I told you I was an expert.”

“So why was I able to see you back then but can only sense your presence now?

“Hypnopompic Hallucination.”

“Hypno-what?”

“Just look it up.”

“You wanted to be in there, didn’t you? You wanted to be getting high too. I could tell by the way you looked over there.”

“Whatever. What do you want?”

“I just want to tell you thank you.”

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah, I mean it. I’m still in pain. The migraines and the anxiety are there but over time, they’ll go away. You know they will.”

“Yeah, so what.”

“You’ve been sent to me.”

“Say what?”

“Since you can’t lie, if you’re going to insist on hanging around, I’m going to use you. You been assigned to me, which means you can’t leave until either you defeat me or I defeat you. It’s a fight to the finish. I’m going to use you. You’re going to tell me things you don’t want to.” Now I felt like rubbing my hands together. “You know my gift helps me know when you’re lying. I think someone made a major mistake. They sent me one of the smartest and best. How does it make you feel knowing you’re going to be used?”

“Well, good luck. I can lie all I want,” Sam said. “That’s still mine. I can lead you on wild goose chases that completely waste your time. If you want to chance it, then more power to you. I don’t know what you think you can get out of this, but I can tell you I’m deadly serious. I will not give up until you’re dead, crazy or have been totally incapacitated. Even then, I’ll keep you out of commission. You’ll be no good to anybody.”

“Fine – it’s good to have it out in the open. We know where each other stands. You want to drive me crazy and I want to use you to get tactical information that’s going to help in this last great battle. You’re going to be sorry you decided to accept this assignment. Oh, sorry. I forgot. You have no power to choose, do you? You go where you’re told and do or die, isn’t that true?”

“You’re a jerk.”

“And you’re damned to hell. Don’t ever forget it.”

Update (Thur 11-7-13): I sent Sam to the light where he was met by a loving family member ready to teach him the gospel. Sam will no longer be visiting with us. He says the light is too bright here.

The Unquiet Dead


TheUnquietDeadI have mentioned this book in several of my posts over the past year or two but only recently did I give it a thorough reading. It’s an old book so this is certainly not the first review. Oh, and by the way, this is not about the episode of the same name from Doctor Who, the British Science-Fiction television series. I think the title of the book was a good choice. It gets your attention.

It was published in 1987 and is Dr. Fiore’s second book. I reviewed her first, You Have Been Here Before in a previous post. Most Amazon and Goodreads reviewers gave it four or five stars. If you are not familiar with the work of Dr. Fiore, this YouTube video is a good introduction. It brings home the point that many LDS find objectionable right up front – where dead people go.

Some Spirits Hang Around

We have been taught in the LDS Church that there are two places for the spirit to go when it dies – either to the light of paradise or to the darkness of spirit prison. As a clinical psychologist, Dr. Fiore has helped thousands of people deal with spirit attachments or possessions. You can learn more in this additional video excerpt from Dr. Fiore discussing how spirits can hang around.

My point is that there are some spirits who do not go to the light or to spirit prison when they die. Yes, we’re talking about ghosts here. Yes, I’m saying that I believe in ghosts. And yes, I have some personal experience in this area. I have shared that experience previously in private email for those who ask. I don’t mind if you don’t believe. I’m OK with that. I barely believe it myself.

Multiple Mortal Probations

In my review of Dr. Fiore’s first book which deals with Multiple Mortal Probations, I mentioned an alternative explanation for the evidence of reincarnation she presented. Of course the evidence was in transcribed recorded sessions of her patients under hypnosis. They were able to describe specific activities, sights, sounds and smells from someone living in a different place and time.

In other words, her patients related that they had lived before and provided incredible detailed descriptions of what happened to them in that previous life, which affected them in their current life. My alternative explanation is that the past lives being described were not from the patients but from spirits who had attached themselves to these patients. Her second book bears this out.

Man is More than a Body

The whole idea of spirit attachments or possession is freaky to most people. They simply don’t want to deal with it. Because this concept explains so much, it receives a lot of opposition. Our culture mocks those who believe in ghosts. That’s OK. It’s wonderful to find someone like Dr. Fiore who has shared professional clinical cases documenting the truth of this very radical idea.

I say it’s radical, but only to our modern, enlightened way of thinking. The influence of beings from the unseen world is an idea that has been around since the beginning of recorded history. The argument of just what comprises the soul of man continues unabated to this day. I found that most philosophers in my college philosophy classes could not agree on man as more than a body.

Different Kinds of Possession

The Unquiet Dead presents clinical case studies of these spirits communicating with Dr. Fiore while their hosts, her patients, were under hypnotic trance. The patients came to her seeking help with some problem that defied customary medical or psychological treatment. Dr. Fiore is a professional hypnotherapist who has found tremendous success in treating spirit possession.

Dr. Fiore is very clear that she doesn’t deal with demonic or satanic possession. That’s a whole different area best left to those who have studied, prepared for and specialize in treating disorders of this kind. If you are not sure of the difference, I’ll refer you the definitive handbook on the subject from my friend Doug Mendenhall. I previously reviewed his book Conquering Spiritual Evil.

The Effects of Possession

The Unquiet Dead is kind of a self-help book in that it guides the reader to a better understanding of recognizing spiritual possession by their effects on the body. In chapter six she discusses some of the physical symptoms, mental problems, emotional problems, drug and alcohol addiction, smoking addiction, weight and obesity problems, relationship problems and sexual problems.

The degree of possession can range from nearly total, in which case the original inhabitant is almost completely replaced, to a very minor influence. She also addresses the very important factor of age when possessed and the effect of possession by spirits of the opposite sex. Now I know this gets into a very politically sensitive area right now so I’ll try to tread upon it lightly.

Dealing With Same-Sex Attraction

I’d like to share a couple of fascinating quotes in Dr. Fiore’s book on this subject. The first is found on page 36. “Entities of the opposite sex are the cause of a great deal of confusion about sexual identity. Homosexuality, transsexuality and transvestism are the extreme results of this kind of possession.” This will be welcome news to some people but I know it will anger others.

She offers this on page 43: “One of the causes of homosexuality is possession by spirits of the opposite sex. If the possession began before puberty, heterosexual development often was disrupted and the afflicted grew up believing they desired sexual partners of the same sex, when it was the entities who were determining their choices.” This idea makes perfect sense to me.

Results of Opposite Sex Attachments

“Sexual hang-ups are part of the repertory many entities bring with them. Their own problems or proclivities manifest themselves when the possessed engage in sex. At one extreme, their host may even be prevented from approaching their partners.” A spirit attachment of the opposite sex can explain diminished sex drive or a reversal in typical male-female relationships.

She continues, “Every homosexual patient I have done a depossession on has had at least one exceedingly dominating entity of the opposite sex who was determining the sexual preference. Often these patients told of feeling they were ‘trapped’ in bodies of the wrong sex.” I know this is not something the gay community wants to hear, but is helpful for those who are questioning.

Wait to Have That Sex Change

“Some of these people were considering irreversible transsexual operations because of the spirit’s desperate attempt to make the possessee’s body as much like the deceased one as possible.” Can you imagine the devastating effect it would be on someone who went to the trouble and expense of a sex-change operation to later discover they had a spirit attachment?

The effect of being possessed by a spirit of the opposite sex can explain why some men feel a desire to dress up as women. “I have treated a number of transvestites, all with possessing spirits of the opposite sex. It was they who bought the clothes and dressed up to suit their fancy, much to the confusion and embarrassment of their victims.” Again, this makes perfect sense to me.

More Than One Witness

Dr. Modi, on page 270 of her 1997 book, Remarkable Healings, confirms the findings of Dr. Fiore: “In some of my patients, possession by an entity of the opposite sex has caused confusion in their sexual identity, especially when the possession occurred before puberty.” There are so many young people who could benefit from knowing this information. It would be so helpful.

Dr. Modi continues, “A female spirit in a man may desire sex with a man, and this desire and attraction may in turn become the desire of the male host toward another male. The host may think he is a homosexual, when in fact he is only acting on the spirit’s desire.” The gay community has tried to debunk these quotes but they’re helpful for those who don’t want same-sex attraction.

And Yet Another Witness

In Conquering Spiritual Evil, Doug Mendenhall, whose daughter is spiritually sighted, meaning she has lost her veil and can see spirit of all kinds, including those who are attached to others, shares additional evidence that spirit attachments are the real cause of same-sex attraction. You can read more about Denise from books published by her father on his site, Publishing Hope.

“When I meet people who claim to be gay, I ask my daughter what she sees in them. There has never been an occasion where she did not see one or more earthbound female spirits attached to a gay man and has always seen earthbound male spirits attached to a gay woman.” I have always thought this to be the case and have wondered why so many fight against the truth of this idea.

A Final Witness of This Truth

My friend Mel Fish in his book, Healing the Inner Self addresses this subject on pages 191 to 194. He provides specific examples of individuals who came to him for help after dramatic and undesired changes in their attitudes toward sex. He made it clear that he was only able to help people who wanted help. If they did not want to change, there was nothing he could do for them.

He wrote that he had no desire to force people into a heterosexual lifestyle if they did not want one. His only desire was to help those were experiencing unwanted same-sex preferences to come to an understanding of the source of the problem and remove it if they wanted to. If the person believed they were gay and had no desire to change then he could not help them.

Sexual Preference can be Tested

Mel uses muscle testing to determine sexual preference. He uses a scale that places a person who is completely heterosexual at a zero. Such a person could not be sexually aroused by anyone of the same sex. A person who is completely the opposite and cannot be aroused by anyone of the opposite sex is a six. He has never found a person who measured either a zero or a complete six.

He says most people test out at a one or two. Every one of the people who tested at a five had with them spirits who were of the opposite sex. After sending those spirits away, every one of these people changed from a five to a one or two. The whole point here is that there is a way to be “cured” for those who don’t want to experience same-sex attraction. Removing spirit attachments helps.

An Important but Controversial Subject

Now I know this is a controversial subject. I wrote about this once before and received all kinds of negative comments and denials that unwanted same-sex attraction could be removed. One regular reader commented that he was “pretty sure this will be in the running for this week’s least politically correct Bloggernacle post.” It’s been five years. I wonder if things have changed.

We live in a day of testing in our church. Those who are pushing the homosexual tolerance and equality agenda will not be pleased with this essay. As I noted on my previous essay, I did not write it for them. I wrote this because the Lord asked me to. He wants those who have unwanted same sex attraction to know that there is an explanation and a way to remove those feelings.

An Invitation to Dialogue

Comments are welcome. I love and appreciate opposing viewpoints. I don’t expect everyone to agree with me. I know this is a sensitive matter in the church right now, one that is separating many families and members of all age groups. Please don’t attack each other personally. If you want to email me privately, I can be reached at tmalonemcse@gmail.com. Thanks for reading.

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