I received an email from a reader (thank you Cecil) and decided to share some of the response here on my blog. I don’t pretend to be anybody important, just someone who wrote an LDS-themed blog for a few years and ended up resigning my membership in the LDS Church. I did so because I wanted to get baptized anew with a clear conscience. I’m not advocating my life choice for you or anyone else. I’m just sharing. You’re welcome to respond in any way you like – ignore this, remove yourself from my email list, leave a comment, positive or negative, or share it with others if you think it would do any good. I express my love for all.
By the Sweat of Thy Face
I’ve been putting in twelve and sixteen hour days at work, half of it on-site and half from the home office. I thought this new job would be easy – only twelve miles from home and one of the smallest companies for which I’ve ever worked. Finally convinced them to bring a desktop support associate on board so I could concentrate on the infrastructure upgrades they so desperately need. They’ve been putting band-aids and patches on everything for the past twelve years. That’s why the former IT Manager left. Finally convinced the owner on Friday to sign the first check for a $100,000+ upgrade to get rid of dying servers and onto a virtual environment. It’s been a long uphill battle for seven months, but I truly enjoy my work. Work is enjoyable when you focus on the people you serve. I learn much from them.
The Lord Works in Mysterious Ways
I’ve gone through three Bishops since my baptism nearly four years ago, each experience decidedly different. The first was long-suffering and patient, but simply could not understand my logic or reasoning. The next Bishop pretty much refused to have anything to do with me – never wanted to meet or talk. The current Bishop kindly met with me at the request of the Stake President. He listened patiently but in the end could not or would not consider the possibility of the Lord working through someone other than the fifteen men at the head of the LDS Church. I have no desire to persuade him otherwise. He’s a good man who loves the Lord. Surely the Lord will bless the good bishops of this Church. I believe the Lord still works through good people everywhere, no matter what their religious affiliation. If they love God, He blesses them.
Fellowship is Important for Ministering
This really is a self-selection path we are on, isn’t it? I continue to attend church with my wife. After three years of only attending Sacrament meeting I decided to stay for the entire block. It’s a small thing that makes Carol happy. We continue to sing in the ward and stake choirs, something we have done all our married lives. I take the sacrament, I raise my hand to sustain individuals in callings and speak up in priesthood meetings now, with the permission of the Stake President and Bishop. There are still those who turn to look at me as I share some point, as if to say, “Why are you allowed to speak up in Church? You resigned.” They don’t quite know how to take it. I try to say nothing controversial – just standard LDS answers. I like the focus on ministering. Strange to witness the dissolving of High Priest Groups. I was pleased to see my home teacher for the past year or two was released from the High Council and made the new Elder’s Quorum President.
A Strange Thing in the Land
I don’t write in my blog anymore on purpose. I miss the many people with whom I corresponded on a regular basis. I wonder how some of them are doing. I even stopped participating on Facebook (Yikes – over 100 messages). I enjoyed the recent conference in which Denver delivered the most amazing theological discourse on the nature of God I have ever heard or read. I have listened to it and studied it several times. It is an amazing and powerful revelation on our Divine Parents and especially a greater understanding of who they are and their role in bringing about the Great Plan of Happiness. Everything I learned concurs with my study of the subject years ago. Sons of Christ and Daughters of Eve has such a deeper meaning for me now. I encourage you to take the time to watch the video or read the paper. To me, it was satisfying and feeds my soul.
Not Good for Man to be Alone
Carol and I continue to read from the Book of Mormon together each night for about twenty minutes before we pray together, one at a time. This practice has kept our marriage intact as we pass through this difficult time of adjustment. I know Carol is disappointed, sad, and at times, lonely, feeling she has nobody but her own family with whom to share the next life. Our son left the LDS church at age 16. He is now 35 years old. She feels she has lost both her husband and her son. I do all I can to assure her of my love. Our son Michael seems well-adjusted and happy. He expresses his love for us each time he visits. Not sure what more I can do for Carol other than be patient and wait on the Lord. This is indeed a tough road to follow but “A religion that does not require the sacrifice of all things never has power sufficient to produce the faith necessary [to lead] unto life and salvation.”
A Comment About The Guide And Standard
I want to say a word about the Guide and Standard. I have watched this process for well over a year, even before the Answer and Covenant. The Lord said “it is a light thing I have asked.” I recently added my name to a document found on the Recorder’s Clearinghouse. I thought long and hard before asking to have my name added to the declaration. It is a petition to the Scriptures Committee, of which I was a small part for a short time. I was happy with the first document produced by Jeff Savage. I was just as happy with the “Lots” document. I voted for it. Obviously a majority of others did as well. Yet, we are not yet united, are we? I have had long discussions with those who oppose the “Lots” version of the Guide and Standard. They will not be persuaded. “…if your hearts were right and you prepared yourselves you could have finished this work long ago.” Is it so hard to agree with something that, while it may not be perfect, fulfills the Lord’s requirements?
There Shall be no Disputations Among You
I express my thanks to all who have kept in touch over the years. I much appreciate it and pray the Lord’s blessings upon you. I remain convinced the Lord is giving us time to prove ourselves faithful to what he has revealed to us. He is watching closely to see how we will treat those around us who He has placed in our lives. I see His hand every day in so many ways through my work with the people I associate with every day on the job. I know the Lord is pleased with my continued efforts to lead out in our nightly scripture study and family prayer. There are indeed seasons to our lives. I feel strong and healthy and continue to pray for strength each day to endure through my time in this situation of knowing what I know yet unable to share it all. I seek to avoid contention as it invites an unwanted spirit to the dialog.
PS – If you haven’t heard me tell my story, perhaps this YouTube link from a few months back will be of interest: The Tim Malone Story